Here are ten things that could make the conversation easy and more effective: 

1. Be positive. Try approaching the subject when things are going well in your parents’

lives, rather than at a stressful time or in response to a problem or incident. 

Respect your parents’ decisions and resist the temptation to push issues unless their health or safety is in jeopardy. 

2. Ask for help. Ask your parents to help you understand what’s important to them and what kind of assistance they’d like to help them stay in their home as long as possible. 

3. Make it easier for your parents to accept help. Talk to your parents about your experience, or that of a friend or relative, in asking for help.  Show understanding about how hard it is sometimes for all of us to ask for assistance from others. 

4. Focus on them. Focus on the needs, desires, and worries of your parents, and about their current and future living situation.  Ask them how they feel about climbing stairs, or if they have concerns about other possible safety issues at home. Talk about modifications that can be made to make them more comfortable. 

5. Ask about daily activities. Find out what your parents would like help with the most.

Is it the cooking? Cleaning? Yard work? Transportation? Ask them if anything about their current situation detracts from their enjoyment of daily activities. 

6. Know their health status. Ask your parents about any health problems they have and ascertain their ability to manage daily healthcare. How often do they fill prescriptions? Are they having any problems taking their medications as directed? Can they afford the medications they need? 

7. Make sure they can pay their expenses. It may be difficult to “butt into” the finances of your parents, but it’s important to know if they can afford to pay bills, eat well, and take advantage of the things that bring joy to their lives. 

8. Know how your parents get around. Do they drive or take a bus? Are they getting rides with friends or are they walking? Knowing how your parents travel can help you help them find the best ways to get where they want to go safely. 

9. Research community resources. Check out transportation, meal, or home care services that are readily available to make it possible for your parents to remain independent.